Getting Over The Stigma of Online Dating

If you look online for information about online dating, you might come across articles like “Online Dating: Only For The Desperate?” or “Online Dating Stigma – Is It Gone?”

Now, it’s up for debate whether the stigma is gone or not – online dating sites (all of them combined) have well over 20 million members. Match.com alone has 15 million members!

The ultimate sign that online dating went mainstream was when Dr. Phil joined forces with Match.com to offer dating advice. However, even with Dr. Phil’s stamp of approval & the massive membership bases of these online dating sites, a stigma still surrounds the concept of online dating.

Granted, it has lessened over the years, but it’s still there. You will still find some couples trying to conceal the fact that they’ve met on the internet. For a while, I was very much against the concept of online dating. I felt like it was the easy way out – that I would be giving up on the concept of meeting people in person if I signed up for a dating site. I felt like it would make me a weak person.

In reality though – that’s an awfully silly way to think about it. First off – just because you sign up for an online dating site doesn’t mean you’re giving up on looking for love in the “traditional” ways. It’s just another avenue for you to find relationships. You can still go out to bars, clubs, libraries, parks, wherever you would look for interesting people and try to meet them there. There is no clause in your membership to online dating sites that says you can’t go outside.

With that said – just because YOU might be over the stigma of online dating doesn’t mean your friends will be. Though you shouldn’t really have to justify your actions to them, if you feel the need, here are some good ways to explain why online dating is beneficial to you – with some cheesy metaphors:

1. People in business are always talking about the concept of ‘multiple streams of income’ – why can’t you have multiple streams of dating opportunities? This allows you to find dating opportunities all the time, any time.

2. In the world of advertising, finding targeted buyers for what you are selling is the ultimate goal of your advertisements. When you see someone of the opposite sex walking down the street, you know nothing about them. In online dating, you can sift through people’s profiles and find out if they fit your type, and pick out the people who are specifically compatible with you. This saves you a lot of work, and will lower your failure rate in dating significantly.

3. The internet is designed to connect people. You’re just taking advantage of the resources given to you.
The truth is though – if you see an opportunity, take it. Online dating is a great opportunity for you. What do care about more, what your friends think, or finding the love of your life? Think like Machiavelli – the end justifies the means. You think you will care what your friends think if you’ve found the love of your life, even if it was from online dating? I don’t think so.

Now get out there!

How To Get A Second Date

Alright, so the evening is coming to a close and you’re both about to go your separate ways. Your first date went great, but you want to figure out “will there be a second date?”

While it’s important to make a great first impression – you need to figure out how you’re going to secure your second date if everything went well. Getting past the first date is a beginning sign that you might have some potential for your relationship. It’s important that as a man, you don’t leave your date hanging – and as a woman, you should express how the date went, to help influence whether there will be a second date or not.

With that said, I have some specific advice for men and women each, along with some advice that works for both sexes.
Ladies first:

1. Make sure that you’re relaxed and that you be yourself. If you get nervous, remember that your date is probably just as nervous as you are. Remember to have fun – it’s a date!

2. Don’t interrogate. There’s a fine line between being interested and interrogating your date. You need to make sure that you do not cross this line! If you are throwing question after question at him, he might become a little intimidated. My friends call this “attacking with words.” Avoid doing this as much as possible. Don’t come to the date prepared with a mental survey for your date to fill out. Just be open minded, and learn about the as much as you can – without interrogating! It’s about getting to know the person – they aren’t applying for a job.

3. Make sure that you let your date know how it went. I don’t mean to be rude and tell them “This date sucked, don’t ever call me again.” But if you didn’t have a good time – don’t tell him that you did! If you aren’t interested in someone, giving signals to that person will not end well for either party. If you had a good time, then let him know.

For Men:
1. Show genuine interest in her! You should be asking your date more questions than she is asking you. Don’t be nervous going into the date about topics of conversation – just have a couple of starters for topics and let your date take it from there. I promise you she will do her part in the conversation, and some! Just make sure that you are listening carefully to what she is talking about and ask good follow-up questions. There’s a stereotype that men don’t listen – break that stereotype by showing that you’re genuinely interested in what she’s saying.

2. Focus on positive topics. Remember, this is your first date. Don’t start talking about abortion rights (not that you would) or your religious beliefs or other controversial subjects. Stick to things that she is interested in and keep everything positive. If you start complaining & moving to negative topics, she will associate that negativity with you – and trust me, that does not reflect well on your chances for a second date.

3. Be complimentary. I don’t mean telling her she’s beautiful 13 times per hour. I would say that more than 3 comments is probably too excessive. Don’t scare your date away with excessive complimenting, but make sure that if she looks good, or you like her outfit, tell her! Just don’t say “I like your outfit…but it would look better on my bedroom floor.” Not going to end well for you.

For Men & Women

Here are 3 quick tips –
1. No cell phones!
2. Don’t bring unexpected guests – it is not appreciated.
3. Do some body language research! I will write a good post about this in the near future, so keep your eyes peeled.

Now get out there and find yourself some dates!

10 Cheap Date Ideas

By Susan B. Norris
(My Mom wrote this article – hope you enjoy it!)

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you can pay a fortune at a restaurant and with-in a week or two, you’ve forgotten what it was you had to eat? Some of my best moments and/or meals have been totally unrelated to how much they cost. This is true of a date – it doesn’t have to be expensive to be fun and memorable.

Here is a list of 10 of my favorite cheap dates:

1. Explore the great outdoors. Google “find a hike near [insert your location here]” and you will probably find many nearby trails to explore. Pack a picnic lunch and some water – I’m fond of a loaf of bread, a hunk of great cheese and some fruit – but you need to float your own boat. I’d take a camera – there’s always something I want to preserve on film. You and your partner will get some exercise and some fresh air!
2. Volunteer. Check out www.volunteermatch.org and other volunteering websites for your area. You will find many opportunities to assist others. You might be asking yourself – “How does this become a cheap date?” When I volunteered with my partner to sell tickets at a lacrosse tournament it provided us with a sports event to watch, and when we were ushers for a local ballet company, we got to see the ballet!
3. Try a new sport. Notice that I’m suggesting that you try a new sport, though old sports might work just as well, depending on the personalities involved. With a new sport, it is less likely that you or your partner will have great expertise or preconceived notions of your abilities. This puts both people on an even playing field. So borrow a couple of racquets and some tennis balls, and go hit at the high school.
4. Make a meal together. This can be such a great bonding experience. You plan the menu, buy the food, and cook to your favorite music. The reward is a fabulous meal, or a disaster that you can laugh about later. Invite friends! Play a game while you’re waiting for the Beef Wellington to burn.
5. Check out a fitness center. I haven’t been to a fitness center yet that doesn’t offer a free pass for at least a couple of days to check it out before you become a member. So take your partner with you to evaluate the facility. Take advantage of any offers to have a personal trainer show you around, or read up before you go for some ideas of things that you can do together while you’re there.
6. Work on a home project. I’m sure that there is some project at your home or apartment that needs to get done, but just need a little push or help. This can be a great bonding experience (or if it isn’t, maybe he/she isn’t for you!).
7. Go to a museum. There are so many strange and wonderful museums out there for you to discover. Again, if you Google “museums near [insert your location here]” you will find numerous options.
8. Check out programs at your local library. At local libraries there are often many interesting events to take advantage of. I have been to lectures by local and sometimes national authors on various topics. There was a cooking demonstration by an author of a new cookbook. Often there are free films being shown at our library. I have attended free musical events sponsored by the library – check it out!
9. Go to a crafts festival. Depending on the event, you will find craft fairs that have little or no cover charge. For me attending a crafts fair is like going to a museum where the creators of the objects sold are usually very happy to share the secrets of their creative process. Inevitably I find myself spending the most time at a booth where the items sold are humorous – great for a guffaw or tee-hee.
10. Go to a local or state fair. This was my absolute favorite cheap date of recent history. There was so much to see, and smell. I have hundreds of photos of farm animals, large vegetables, and people. There were horses pulling huge, heavy crates competitively, animals dressed in their finest (or funniest) for a parade, bake sales, etc, etc. Oh, and of course, my personal favorite, the pigs.

So get out there with your date and explore the many free and/or inexpensive dating options that are available to you. What have you got to lose? – not money!

Mate1.com Review

Ranked by Comscore Mediamatrix® and Neilsen Netratings® among the top 5 mainstream dating sites on the planet, Mate1.com has over 15 million members, with tens of thousands joining daily.

It is supposedly the most frequented explicit dating site on the web. A unique feature that gives Mate1 an almost 50/50 girl to guy ratio is the fact that women don’t have to pay for membership while guys have to pay a monthly fee. Although this may not seem fair, it is an effective solution for balancing the playing field.

Site name: Mate1

Categories: Dating Service

Free Trial: Free for Women. For Guys: there is a 3-day $1.95 Trial Membership.

Regions: US

Orientation: Heterosexual, Gay/Lesbian

Relationships Sought: Relationships, Casual Dating, Social Circle

Services/Offered Ways to Connect:

• Chat
• Multiple Photographs
• Free Voice-Recorded Messages
• Questionnaire Matching

Testimonials:
Dear Mate1,

I met my soul mate on your website! It must have been fate because we met on the last night he was going to be on the site. He had already cancelled his subscription when I happened to send him an IM invitation. We started to talk and soon met up, and well, here we are, planning our wedding! I have never met someone who completed me the way that he does and I have this website to thank for that.

Thank you so much Mate1.com!

Beth
Florence, Kentucky
Visit/Join

Visit Mate1.com!

PrimeSingles.net Review

Primesingles.net is an online dating site for singles over 40 and in their prime to meet for friendship, dating, and marriage. Thousands of mature singles have joined our dating site in hopes of meeting other older men and older women to share new experiences with each day. Prime Singles provides online dating services, including online personals and photographs of men and women.

Started in 2002 to bring like-minded singles together in a safe, clean, and fun environment Prime singles still aims to please. Join other singles at PrimeSingles.net today in making this the prime of your life at the dating site where senior people meet and find friends and love.

Site name: PrimeSingles.net

Categories: Dating Service

Free Trial: Free to Browse

Regions: US

Orientation: Heterosexual

Relationships Sought: Long-Term Relationships

Services/Offered Ways to Connect:
• Online profiles and photographs of single men and women
• Online chat rooms and an instant messenger to enable others to communicate in real time
• An online private mailbox to enable others to exchange personal messages
• An online public forum to enable others to exchange messages and information
• An online display of frequently asked questions, and answers to frequently asked questions.

Testimonials:
I wanted to let you know that Radman456 and I have met over the summer. We had a wonderful 4 days together we had a little problem with him living in Oklahoma and me living on the Eastern Shore. He has visited me twice and I took a trip to Oklahoma once. Then over Christmas he came and visited me in Maryland and we went to Snow Hill and got married. We would like to thank you for bringing us together and making our life much better. We love each other and can’t wait until we’re together for always. He will be coming here in May after he graduates. Life is all good. Thank you again. Shortie0411

Visit PrimeSingles.net!

Over40Matching.com Review

Over40Matching was created to make it easier for older singles to meet like-minded people not just interested in casual dating. This site caters to singles over 40 and has Free browsing without registering, but you do need to register in order to Chat and send messages. However, Registration for Over40Matching.com is free.

Site: Over40Matching.com

Categories: Dating Service

Free Trial: Yes

Regions: US

Orientation: Heterosexual

Relationships Sought: Long-Term Relationships

Services/Offered Ways to Connect:

• Free Browsing
• Free Registration to Send Messages
• The People at this site are constantly on the look out for younger singles posing as older people. This takes some of the doubt away and makes browsing more honest.

Visit Over40Matching.com!

SinglesNet.com Review

SinglesNet is a dating site created with the motto “Dating Made Easy.” They offer free trial memberships and form most users’ experience, it seems that the only benefit in paying for a subscription is to be able to initiate contact with more than a few members at a time. The best feature of SinglesNet.com is that it is extremely easy and fast to sign up (they claim as low as 30 seconds).

Site name: SinglesNet.com

Categories: Dating Service

Free Trial: Yes

Regions: US

Orientation: Heterosexual, Gay/Lesbian

Relationships Sought:

Services/Offered Ways to Connect: Automatic Matches, Mailbox, Higher Search Placement

Visit SinglesNet.com!

PerfectMatch.com Review

PerfectMatch.com is one of the true matchmaking services that we found online. It actually seems pretty complex, utilizing personality compatibility systems developed by a PhD “Love Doctor.” Here’s what they have to say about it:

“Perfectmatch.com® (Perfectmatch), a leading online dating and relationship service, is the best approach for adults seeking successful, lasting relationships. It is the only online dating and relationship service to offer the Duet® Total Compatibility System (Duet®), co-developed by renowned relationship expert Dr. Pepper Schwartz (Dr. Schwartz). Based on over 35 years of research, Duet® analyzes the ‘whole person’, taking into account each member’s Personality, Values and Ideals, Life and Lovestyle, Preferences and their Love & Money Assessment to identify and find the person right for them. This unique and proprietary system enables Perfectmatch to provide both the best online capabilities and member experience to those seeking a real love, a relationship or marriage.”

Sitename: PerfectMatch

Categories: MatchMaking Service

Free Trial: Free Compatibility Profile

Regions: Mostly US and Canada

Orientation: Heterosexual, Gay/Lesbian

Relationships Sought: Serious Long-Term Relationships

Services/Offered Ways to Connect: The Duet® Total Compatibility System finds matches based on personality tests and notifies you of highly compatible matches. This makes finding someone a lot easier as you don’t have to browse through millions of profiles to find someone you match with.

Testimonials:
Steve & Julie
Married December 13, 2008
“Neither of us expected to get married again, but we also did not expect to find someone so well matched.”
We met via Perfectmatch in January 2006. Julie, who was new to internet dating, was matched with 60 men. She liked Steve’s profile the best. He was the first and only man she had approached via Perfect Match. Steve, by this time, had used several other internet dating services off and on over the previous several years, with mostly disappointing results.

Julie lived 65 miles away, outside his preferred geographic range. When Julie approached him, he expected to have one or two pleasant dates and that would be the end of it. Nevertheless, one date led to another, and another, and another. Neither of us expected to get married again, but we also did not expect to find someone so well matched in temperament, interests and understanding. Steve proposed to Julie during a sunset cruise on Lake Michigan last August, on bended knee in front of several astounded onlookers. We were married Dec. 13, 2008. ~ Steve & Julie

Visit PerfectMatch.com!

MatchMaker.com Review

MatchMaker.com was created in 1996. Since then it has grown to be incredibly popular, with over 50,000 new members joining each week. The site is focused more on more mature singles 35+ who are interested in serious long-term relationships.

Site name: MatchMaker.com

Categories: Dating and MatchMaking Service

Free Trial: Yes

Regions: Serves Major Cities in US, UK, Europe, Canada, South America, Asia, and Australia

Orientation: Heterosexual, Gay/Lesbian

Relationships Sought: Dating, Long-Term Relationships

Services/Offered Ways to Connect:

• Who’s Online Now
• Chat
• Automatic Matching
• Search
• Mailbox
• Friends List
• Local Events

Visit MatchMaker.com!

Match.com Review

Match.com was created in 1995. Since then it has grown to be incredibly popular, with over 15 million members. The site was one of the first online matchmaking websites and has now become the leading online dating community.
One of Match.com’s best features is MindFindBind, which is a program created to help couples learn about relationships and how to improve and work on them with the help of Dr. Phil McGraw. It has internet-only video segments with Dr. Phil McGraw.

Site name: Match.com

Categories: Dating Service

Free Trial: Yes. A 7-day Free Trial with Full subscription Benefits and the ability to mingle with all 15 million of those singles is available now.

Regions: All

Orientation: Heterosexual and Gay/Lesbian

Relationships Sought:
Dating, Exotic, Risque, Single Parents, Pen Pals

Services/Offered Ways to Connect:

• Photos
• Venus, an automatic match maker that will find and send you your matches.
• Match My Friends – You can find matches for your friends and family.
• Match Mobile – Search and Meet people from your mobile phone.
• MatchScene – An e-zine with articles and tips.

Testimonials
Match.com is the reason we met and married, and we would like to thank you for that. We would like to also tell anyone that is out there looking for the right person for them that it is possible, and that we are living proof of it. The key is to be totally honest with each other. Thank You Match.com for making our dreams come true in finding true love and companionship. - Tim and Jill Clendenin

Sign Up For Match.com!

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